Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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