Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
