i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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