Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she told me i tasted like america
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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