its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
