your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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