Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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