Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
operation harelip BJ is a go
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
