Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
