so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
