i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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