Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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