Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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