Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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