i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
