id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize