Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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