operation harelip BJ is a go
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
