GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
