please come you make the beer taste better
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
