do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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