we have officially lost it.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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