one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
honey bunches of taint.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
the liver wants what the liver wants
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
