he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Two words: blizzard sex
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
