He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
