in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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