The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
