I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
