Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
