he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
