I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
