Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
as a side note pls kill me
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
