Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
