Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize