we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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