Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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