I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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