the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
