Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
