I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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