Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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