I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
