I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
