Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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