You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my being single is dangerous.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
