I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
