Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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