i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's official drugs can't kill me
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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