i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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