this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I need to sanitize my soul.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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