Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize