Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
