why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
