VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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