garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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