just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
