Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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