**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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