Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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