i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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