Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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