I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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