Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize