An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
