At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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