sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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