i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dick very happy bro
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
