She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
