You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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