my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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