I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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