like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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