The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
