I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm sobbing to NWA
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
