STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
